Random Thoughts While Watching Election Coverage

CNN alone is sending cosmetic stocks through the roof. Possibly morticians wax stocks as well. Are those guys really real?

I'm doing a shot (of water) for every electoral vote that goes to Kerry.

Judy Woodruff creeps me out.

I've started drinking (hard cider).

Bob Woodward just used the phrase "valium cooler." What exactly is that and where can I get one?

John Kerry is going to win because our dog is wearing her Democrat Blue collar.

A guy outside the CNN studio has a shirt on that says "Fuck This Shit"

The Boss is making an Excel spreadsheet of Electoral Votes.

I have finished a phone conversation with my mom in which I:
blamed her for Georgia going to Bush
told her I would not be calling her when Kerry wins because I will be too drunk
passed along The Boss' statement that my mom was watching FacistNews.com (i.e. Fox News)

It is 9:53pm and a gang of annoying people have taken over CNN.

Jenna Bush has some really freaking ugly green pumps.

Joe uh Lockhart is uh really uh really uh umm uh boring. Da bears.

Thank you Daily Show. Thank you. I need you right about now.

Rev. Al Sharpton cracks me up.

The Boss is getting depressed and negative. She needs to drink more and faster.

Wolf Blitzer has missed his calling as a Home Shopping Network host.

I have moved on to hard liquor (gin and tonic).

This Just In - There is other news going on in the world. Who knew?

It's been a while since we've had some solid polling results.

Break in the normal voting coverage to give us the election version of News of the Wierd: Michael Moore is putting cameras in polling places
An astronaut is voting from space

Dammit Ohio. C'mon people.

The gin was starting to hit me a little to hard so I've switched to Jack and coke. (Really...that statement makes sense in my world.)

Yes we know, states are banning gay marriage. Because gays are the ones who are destroying the sanctity of marriage. Nevermind divorce, adultery, reality TV shows. It's the gays.

Sucking down the Jack 'n' coke

I hear Canada has a pretty good healthcare system. And they like the gays. Hmmmm.......

I want Martin Sheen to be President. The Martin Sheen from West Wing. Aaron Sorkin can be VP. I'd vote for that. Twice.

I look forward to a time...in a land far, far away...when and where Michael Jackson is no longer a news regular.

Rockefeller Center is not as impressive in person as it seems on TV. I know. I was there two years ago in November, for the first time ever. Yes, I had never been to New York before 2002. The Boss' mom took us there for a day outing to see Our Town (w/Paul Newman and Jane Curtain, which was really cool). I had always wanted to go to New York City. Once there, the Boss made a slight correction to my aspirations: "Apparently, you had always wanted to visit a sound stage of New York City." TV definitely makes it look different. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to go back and spend more time there, but TV New York and Real Life New York look completely different.

Kerry 206. Bush 207. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. The suspense is killing me.

The Dog is curled up on the couch like she's coming down from a long bender. She looks like we feel.

Hi P. Diddy! Vote or Die, baby. Vote or Die! Glad you got some air time.

Florida sucks. Bastards. I hated living there and now I hate the whole state (with the exception of the FANTASTIC Santa Fe Community College Teaching Zoo (and all the other animal places) and my family and friends that live there).

The Bird just made noises similar to the sound effects from the shower scene in Psycho.

Ohio is now in the "States that Invert Girl Hates" category.

Maybe we should've put the red collar on The Dog.

Now I will go cry, fold the laundry and go to bed.