Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Georgia On My Mind...And In The Backseat...And Also The Trunk

Tomorrow, after nearly three weeks in the great state of Georgia, The Bird and I and lots of my stuff that has been in my parents' attic will be trekking back home in a Ford Taurus (or similar). I hope it all fits. Being able to see out the windows is overrated anyway, right?
Lots to write about and tons of pictures to post, however, the prehistoric internet connection here is too slow to upload anything, and I opted for spending more time with people than the computer. But I keep scribbling notes on random scraps of paper so I don't forget the good stuff.

The only person who will be happy to see me go:

Affectionately referred to as The Favorite Daughter, this little clown has been stalking me since I arrived. Sometimes she likes me, sometimes she don't. This visit - she don't. Next visit - she might like me. She's a bird. It's what they do.

© Screaming Pea Productions

Saturday, July 16, 2005

I'll Take "Places You'd Never Guess I Would Be" For $800

Harry Potter Midnight Magic Party at the Fayetteville Barnes and Noble.

Some of you might have to re-read the previous sentence again. I know I did.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

I went potty all by myself this past weekend (which isn't necessarily all that different from any other weekend, or weekday for that matter) however this past weekend I had the added bonus of being congratulated for it. Spent the weekend with a childhood friend and her 3 year old and 18 month old, and at their house going potty is a BIG DEAL. Being in GA for three weeks gave me a chance to spend quality time with people who I usually see for only a half day at best. A weekend of cartoon shaped cereal, animated movies, bedtime stories, smooching little kid cheeks, and "Yay! You went potty!" was exactly what I needed. The 18 month old wasn't very talkative, but she loves me and that's all that really matters. She can talk, she just doesn't. But you can tell the wheels in her head are going 90 mph most of the time. When she does start making complete sentences, they will have something to do with quantum physics.
I can always count on the 3 year old for funny little conversations...

L: I can be an animal.
Me: You can? What animal are you?
L: I don't know.
Me: You're a monkey.
L: No I'm not.
Me: Okay then, what are you?
L: I'm a lion *raaawwrrrr*
Me: That's a good lion sound. Where do lions live?
L: Outside.
Me: Yes they do. Am I an animal?
L: Yes.
Me: What animal am I?
L: You're a monkey.
Me: Okay, I can be a monkey. But do lions eat monkeys?
L: No. They eat rocks.
Me: Lions eat rocks?
L: Yes.
Me: Okay. I did not know that. Do monkeys eat rocks, too?
L: No. You eat poop. *cackle*
Me: No...I think I will eat you.
*lots of screaming and laughing*

Perfect Timing

I went with Dad today to one of his many medical appointments. About halfway there I decided this would be a good time to tell him I got fired for two reasons: 1) It's a short ride, so a three hour lecture was out of the question and 2) He's usually a little loopy after he sees the pain specialist and I figured if the news made him mad he wouldn't care by the time he left the office.

Me: So I got fired.
Dad: You what?
Me: I got fired.
Dad: How did that happen?
(Insert discussion of standard questions and answers that go along with my firing.)

We arrive at the doctor's office. Dad fills out forms. We continue the discussion. He's not mad. And then at the end of the conversation he says what I have determined to be the best statement made during a discussion related to my firing: "Well, a few guys I worked with got fired for making guns on their lunch breaks with company machinery."

The kicker? Those guys got their jobs back.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy Blow Some Stuff Up Day

Spent most of the day hanging out at my sister's house. Mom called me around 9:30pm to let me know that the neighbor kid* and his buddies were "setting off a lot of fireworks and apparently a couple of them just left to go get Drano and some eggs**. His mom will be confiscating the Drano once it arrives, but be careful when you come home as fireworks and other projectiles may be headed toward you."
My mommy's always looking out for me.

*I call him a kid, however, he's 18 years old and recently graduated high school. I'm allowed to call him a kid because I babysat him from the time he was 9 months old until he didn't need a babysitter anymore.

**The Drano and eggs were not going to be used together. Apparently if you put liquid Drano in a container and some aluminum foil, and seal it, the chemical reaction causes pressure to build up and it eventually explodes. The eggs were used separately for target practice. DO NOT try any of this at home, even though Drano, eggs, and aluminum foil are common household products.