Monday, March 28, 2005

Best. Colloquialism. Ever.

"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel."
Courtesy of the Boss' uncle

Monday, March 21, 2005

Just Imagine What I'd Be Like At An Animal Shelter

The Boss and I went to the guitar store yesterday because she wanted to look at drums. Of course, we wandered the entire store. The main part of the building is mostly electric guitars and amps and then there are separate rooms for drums, keyboards and acoustic guitars. As we entered the acoustic room, I spotted a guitar hanging on one of the wood columns and immediately knew that I was not leaving the store without it.
Everyone, meet Charlotte:

© Screaming Pea Productions
She is beautiful and I love her and if you say anything bad about her I will kick your ass.
Some of you may be thinking, "I didn't know Invert Girl played guitar."
I don't.
I had a brief stint of guitar lessons in junior high. "Guitar With Coach Bowen" was one of the few mandatory elective classes that didn't suck. A couple weeks into the class, mom found a guitar at a garage sale and bought it for me. I learned a few songs, played it a bit after the class ended, and then I think something on it broke and that was the end of my guitar era.
I have now entered my second guitar era that, from this point on, will be known as the Charlozoic Period. (Why yes, I was in the science club. Why do you ask?)
I don't know that I will actually get into playing guitar again. I discovered yesterday my fingers aren't long enough to reach some of the chords. But in the meantime, Charlotte has been enduring experimentation with my camera and photo editor.

© Screaming Pea Productions

Monday, March 14, 2005

Most Disgusting. Candy. Ever.

The Cherry Mash.

Also, I don't know why they call it a candy "bar." It's more like a mound. Eew.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Just In Case There Was Any Doubt

This morning's news ran a story about terrorists hacking into US power grids and the possibility of a plan to cause a large, nationwide blackout. Essentially, the point of the story was this: A lot of power companies suck technologically. It would be very easy to hack into their systems. A 12 year old at computer summer camp could bring down a grid during a bathroom break.

Thanks for letting the terrorists know they're barking up the right tree.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


I'll take "Words you don't want to hear during your sonogram" for $200 please, Alex.

I have learned a valuable lesson - make sure that your primary care physician and staff are competent. Because even if 95% of the time when you use them it's only for a bad cold or to get a referral to a specialist, that other 5% of the time will hit you with severe abdominal pain on a Friday morning while you're at work. From that point on, your PCP and her staff will flawlessly demonstrate that their job skills do not include attention to detail, returning messages, listening comprehension, or basic knowledge of how to correctly obtain a blood pressure reading. Then, on Monday morning after the sonogram specialist utters the word "abnormal" you will get an overwhelming sinking feeling that is greatly magnified by the realization that you cannot entrust your doctor with any sort of serious medical problem.

Fortunately, I was able to find a new PCP within walking distance from work AND someone can see me tomorrow AND my insurance company has already updated my PCP in their system AND the sonogram center will gladly fax my results to my new PCP.

Update (3/10/05): Went to the new doc. Very competant. She doesn't think it's anything too serious. Follow up appointment scheduled. I feel much better now.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

It's All About Priorities

So far, the grocery list on the fridge is as follows:

White Rum
Lemon tahini dressing