You Know You've Hosted A Good Holiday Party When...

Scene: The Next Morning

Guest: Do you know where my clothes are?

Host: They're upstairs on the living room floor.

Guest: Really? Are you sure they're mine?

Host: Yeah. Your name tag is on them.

Newest Member of Rowdy Acre

Meet George. He's temporarily ours. We're fostering this sweet boy and working on finding him a great home.

Even The Animals Party Hard At Rowdy Acre

So much to post. Huge backlog. A little overwhelming, but I hope to start getting stuff up here soon. For now, please enjoy the doggie pic.

Ummm.....Thanks?

You might be a redneck if your Dad breaks out the remote controlled Fart Machine during Thanksgiving dinner.

Seriously. I can't make this shit up.

I'll Be Thankful If It Doesn't Stick

Remember when snow was nothing but fun? And now it's just "Oh crap when the hell did it starting snowing. I still have to go to the store to get potatoes for the potluck. Does the car have gas? The power will probably go out tonight. Where are my YakTrax? Dammit it's cold. Grumble grumble grumble...snow."

But I'm not so much of a scrooge that I didn't take The Dog O-U-T to play F-R-I-S-B-E-E in the first snow of the year. She just looks so damn cute with the icy stalactites hanging from her belly hair and the snotsicles coming out of her nose.

I Am Weak

Today I fell victim to the cuteness. How much cuteness, you ask? This much...



Yes, that is the National Zoo's baby panda and yes, I went to the zoo this morning specifically to see him. (I know at least one of my readers is gagging right now.) To counter balance today's shameful adoration of the little charismatic megavertebrate, I trekked over to the small mammal house to pay special attention to the naked mole rats.

Boo! And Also Boo!

Is it a hurricane? Is it an alien? Is it a plant? Is it a Christmas tree?

No...it's a jellyfish!

This is my second favorite Halloween costume. (The first favorite being when I was 4 years old and dressed up like Donna Fargo. I loved her. I think I wanted to be her. I was an odd little child.)

The third night of Boo At The Zoo was yesterday. Thousands of happy halloweeny people running around a zoo with a spooky makeover, getting treats, and having fun with animals? Sign me up! This is the stuff I live for. The most exciting part was when a little girl ran up to the Invert Exhibit entrance and screamed "Yay! You're a jellyfish!" And I looked at her and screamed, "Yay! You're a jellyfish, too!" We compared costumes and decided we were definitely the two coolest people there.

The Dog didn't have a costume this year. We still have the e-collar from when she had surgery and contemplated putting that on her so she could be Direct TV. But every time we discussed it, she gave us THE LOOK. She didn't, however, get out of Halloween fun completely...

In Case Anyone Was Wondering What The Dog Was Doing While I Was Outside Splitting Firewood

© Screaming Pea Productions

Yeah...I'm jealous.

Two Drink Minimum. But We Should Maybe Think About Instituting A Maximum.

I was recently reminded of this and thought I should share.
About a year ago, The Boss and I had former coworker of hers and his girlfriend over to grill out for dinner. We all became inebriated early in the evening, and while the coworker sobered up later for the drive home, his girlfriend stayed quite intoxicated. The next day, he called to thank The Boss for the fun evening and part of their conversation went like this:

The Boss: So we'll have to have you guys over for karaoke more often.
Guy: Next time I might even keep most of my clothes on. I think I embarassed [girlfriend].
The Boss: Well, she was pretty drunk when you two left.
Guy: Yeah. When we got home I had to put her in bed. She couldn't even take off her shoes, so I had to help her.

As The Boss was relaying this to me, I blurted out, "But she was wearing FLIP FLOPS!"

You have to be a special kind of drunk to not be able to take off your flip flops.

How To Make Me Very Happy

Come back from your business trip with a 6 month supply of Cheerwine.