I turned 29 on Sunday and was hit with the realization that I had exactly one year left of being "twenty-something." This didn't really bother me, until I started thinking maybe it should bother me. So now it's bothering me - mainly because in other people's lives, it has bothered them, and for those of you who know me personally, you know I value other people's opinions much more than I value my own. (The fact that I am even expressing my opinions on a public web site caused a couple of pigs to get airborne.) For the past few days I've been making myself crazy with my "I'm almost 30 and I should be concerned about this for some reason" crisis. Through the magic of the internet that Al Gore created, I started reading things that other people want to do before they're 30. It began as a way to pass the time during lunch on Monday. I thought it would be amusing and entertaining, however, skimming several lists helped the paranoia set in. People want to do a lot of stuff before they're 30 - more than I really even want to do in my lifetime. Damn overachievers. I sat down and made my own list of the major goals that are of the utmost importance to me that I want to achieve at some point in the future. I came up with four (in no particular order):
I want to go back to school.
I want to have kids.
I want to travel to other countries.
I want a job, working with animals, that I love, where I will stay and work my ass off until I get too old to work there and retire and then start volunteering there.
Of course there are many other things I would like to do, but if I never get to do those things, I'm fine with that. If I never get over being claustrophobic, I won't feel like less of a person. If I never get a web comic site up and running, I won't feel like I didn't live up to my full potential. If I never go skydiving, I won't feel like I missed out. After 29 years, I've realized I need to stop comparing me to those who are not me. There will always be people that, when compared to them, I am the equivalent of a doorstop with an IQ of 53. On the other hand, there will always be people that in comparison make me look like a well-spoken, worldly, Nobel Prize winning genius.
I want to be a good partner, daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, co-worker, student and volunteer. I'm a good mom to our current "kids" and eventually I want the opportunity to be a good mom to human kids. I am going to take my "Shortest List of Life Goals. Ever." and do it. It might be small, but it's going to take quite a bit of effort and growing and learning on my part. And if there's free time for skydiving, phobia-conquering, web comicing and any other ings, I'll consider myself fortunate.
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2 comments:
Just speaking from my own experiance, going back to school is a lot easier than it seems. I went back last summer at 27, and school is thousands of times easier now than it was at 18.
Your mentality is different, your priorities are different, and the whole process just seems simple. The hardest part was just registering for that first class.
You are my hero. You make me smile on a night when I am feeling depressed, over-whelmed, and defeated. Thank you. Hopefully I can talk Heath into visiting with you sometime this summer (not like I will have to twist his arm or anything).
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