Even The Animals Party Hard At Rowdy Acre

So much to post. Huge backlog. A little overwhelming, but I hope to start getting stuff up here soon. For now, please enjoy the doggie pic.

Ummm.....Thanks?

You might be a redneck if your Dad breaks out the remote controlled Fart Machine during Thanksgiving dinner.

Seriously. I can't make this shit up.

I'll Be Thankful If It Doesn't Stick

Remember when snow was nothing but fun? And now it's just "Oh crap when the hell did it starting snowing. I still have to go to the store to get potatoes for the potluck. Does the car have gas? The power will probably go out tonight. Where are my YakTrax? Dammit it's cold. Grumble grumble grumble...snow."

But I'm not so much of a scrooge that I didn't take The Dog O-U-T to play F-R-I-S-B-E-E in the first snow of the year. She just looks so damn cute with the icy stalactites hanging from her belly hair and the snotsicles coming out of her nose.

I Am Weak

Today I fell victim to the cuteness. How much cuteness, you ask? This much...



Yes, that is the National Zoo's baby panda and yes, I went to the zoo this morning specifically to see him. (I know at least one of my readers is gagging right now.) To counter balance today's shameful adoration of the little charismatic megavertebrate, I trekked over to the small mammal house to pay special attention to the naked mole rats.

Boo! And Also Boo!

Is it a hurricane? Is it an alien? Is it a plant? Is it a Christmas tree?

No...it's a jellyfish!

This is my second favorite Halloween costume. (The first favorite being when I was 4 years old and dressed up like Donna Fargo. I loved her. I think I wanted to be her. I was an odd little child.)

The third night of Boo At The Zoo was yesterday. Thousands of happy halloweeny people running around a zoo with a spooky makeover, getting treats, and having fun with animals? Sign me up! This is the stuff I live for. The most exciting part was when a little girl ran up to the Invert Exhibit entrance and screamed "Yay! You're a jellyfish!" And I looked at her and screamed, "Yay! You're a jellyfish, too!" We compared costumes and decided we were definitely the two coolest people there.

The Dog didn't have a costume this year. We still have the e-collar from when she had surgery and contemplated putting that on her so she could be Direct TV. But every time we discussed it, she gave us THE LOOK. She didn't, however, get out of Halloween fun completely...

In Case Anyone Was Wondering What The Dog Was Doing While I Was Outside Splitting Firewood

© Screaming Pea Productions

Yeah...I'm jealous.

Two Drink Minimum. But We Should Maybe Think About Instituting A Maximum.

I was recently reminded of this and thought I should share.
About a year ago, The Boss and I had former coworker of hers and his girlfriend over to grill out for dinner. We all became inebriated early in the evening, and while the coworker sobered up later for the drive home, his girlfriend stayed quite intoxicated. The next day, he called to thank The Boss for the fun evening and part of their conversation went like this:

The Boss: So we'll have to have you guys over for karaoke more often.
Guy: Next time I might even keep most of my clothes on. I think I embarassed [girlfriend].
The Boss: Well, she was pretty drunk when you two left.
Guy: Yeah. When we got home I had to put her in bed. She couldn't even take off her shoes, so I had to help her.

As The Boss was relaying this to me, I blurted out, "But she was wearing FLIP FLOPS!"

You have to be a special kind of drunk to not be able to take off your flip flops.

How To Make Me Very Happy

Come back from your business trip with a 6 month supply of Cheerwine.

Helping The Animals

ASPCA Hurricane Relief - Donate online, sign up to volunteer your time or foster animals

Audubon Relief Effort - Lincoln Park Zoo is heading the fundraising effort for the Audubon Zoo, Audubon Aquarium and the Audubon Center for the Research of Endangered Species. The aquarium lost the majority of its animal collection, which is especially heartbreaking.

Be sure to check with your local animal shelters and animal rescue leagues. Many of them are sending staff members to help with animal rescue efforts in the affected areas. They need monetary donations, supplies and people to foster animals.

For the DC locals:

Phoenix Landing is collecting supplies to care for pet birds affected by the hurricane. Contact Charlotte for further information and dropoff location.

Washington Humane Society's top officer is currently in New Orleans and the Society is housing animals at their DC shelters.

Washington Animal Rescue League sent a team of vets and volunteers to areas affected by the hurricane and will also be housing animals here in DC.


The whole situation is sad. Horribly, horribly, horribly sad. And that's really all I can say about it without tearing up to the point that I can't see the screen well enough to type.

To Pee Or Not To Pee

Labor Day Camping Weekend was a weekend of important decisions, and I quote:
Regular or high octane?
Should I get onion rings or pizza?
Bud or Bud Light?
I'm not sure if I should shower or puke.
Should I pee in the woods or hike to the porta-potty?
I don't know whether to shit or go to sleep.

Colloquialism of the Trip: Well you don't have a hair on your ass if you let her take the 4-wheeler.

Thing That Rocked
No rain. Not one single drop.

Thing That Sucked
The construction of the new county road that runs through the family farm.

Thing We Were All Thankful For
The porta-potty that was there for the DOT workers.

Thing The Boss And I Got The Most Shit About
Our brand spankin' new 16' x 10' tent that has a sleeping room, a screen room, and a full rain-fly complete with two skylight panels. Oh yes...skylights.

Thing That Brought Us A Little Closer To Nature
The Jolly Rancher that fell out of The Boss' sister's pocket four months ago on our last camping trip, which invited a colony of ants to set up shop in one side of her dad's camper. It was like something out of a horror movie. Even Invert Girl was creeped out.

Thing That Horrified The Boss The Most
The substances being emitted from her 3 week old cousin.

Thing That Horrified Me The Most
Driving Hank for the first time with a very large trailer in tow.

Thing I Most Wish I Had A Picture Of
Me sitting on my 4-wheeler in mud/water up to my knees, being pulled out by another 4-wheeler with a winch.

Thing I Am Thankful I Do Not Have A Picture Of
Me drunk off my ass at the Italian Heritage Festival.

Thing That Made The Boss Most Happy
Making it through the aforementioned mud/water without the help of a winch.

Things That The Boss Bought Me That Are Awesome
Comfy, warm winter vest.
Camo West VA trucker hat.
Shirt with a picture of an armadillo that reads "Get Stuffed Taxidermy and Donuts."